“The Gun Case Beast That Swallows Your Bank Account Like a Purple Tentacle Demon Chomping a Happy Meal!”
Patch Specs (Real + Ridiculous):
• Material: Thick 3D PVC rubber (grippy, weatherproof – survives mag dumps, rain, and bad life choices) comes with Artcard
• Size: Roughly 3 inches wide – ideal for rifle case lid, plate carrier front, laptop, truck bumper, or wherever broke bois rep
• Colors: Nightmare purple + neon-yellow chompers + black border + camo green/orange accents for that true operator drip
• Backing: Hook Velcro – slap it on/off in seconds when the next killer sale hits
• Bonus: Slightly glossy drool effect – looks like the thing is literally about to slurp your credit card
Manufacturer Warning (totally real, trust):
Only buy this patch if you’re ready for your finances to get genuinely devoured. No liability for bankruptcy caused by Geissele triggers, optic fever, or sudden urges to buy yet another dangler pouch.
Gun Eater is the second in a Series Monster Bags by Hiwezart.